If You Really Knew Me...

Ok I have had a few friends do this on their blogs, and I thought it was cute! Plus I have not updated in a while so I thought it would be a fun read. :)

If you really knew me....

You'd know that I am really self conscious of my body.

You'd know that I sometimes watch QVC or HSN because I love to obsess over things I cannot have.

You'd know that my kitchen has to be wiped down with lysol wipes every night.

You'd know that my classroom does too. 

You'd know that I never eat seafood because I am afraid I am allergic to it, even though I know I'm not.

You'd know that I love my dog more than anything and I treat her like she is my daughter.

If you really knew me...

You'd know that my fiance is my best friend and my soul mate.

You'd know that I love the Weather Channel and anything to do with weather.

You'd know that I am really concerned about being perfect and pleasing people.

You'd know that I love Flagstaff and would pick up and move tomorrow if I could.

You'd know that I have a serious addiction to Mexican food.

If you really knew me, you would also know that...

I'm OCD and have high anxiety.

I can't live without my pedicure every 2 weeks

I love San Diego and our annual trip to our beach house.

If you really knew me...

You'd know that I love candles, especially the Fall ones.

You'd know that Fall is my favorite season.

You'd know that I secretly want to live on the east coast in Connecticut or Maine

You'd know that I love Starbucks.

If you really knew me...

You'd know how much work I put in to teaching.

You'd know that I love my job, my students, and my school.

And, if you really knew me, you would know that my fiance is the best thing that has happened to me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So many exciting things!

As I sat down this morning to drink my coffee and get started on some work, I just started thinking about how truly lucky and blessed we really are. There are so many exciting things coming our way in the next 3 months! I know I haven't blogged in a while, and I know I promised to blog a lot more this summer, but lets face it....time just flies. So I guess this post is going to be about our summer adventures and the upcoming excitement in our lives :)

First off, we had an AMAZING summer together. Being a first year teacher and experiencing a paid summer off, it was nice to just relax and realize that I had no obligations or places to be for 2 whole months. That was such a great feeling, but it didn't last long. We had a trip planned to Vegas, a couple of professional development classes for me, a trip to Dallas, Flagstaff, and California. All of our trips came and went, and we enjoyed every moment of them! I think the best ones for us were Dallas, because we got to see a lot of family that Matt has never met and that I haven't seen in years, and then in California we had our own beach house, which is something that we had never experienced before. The beach house was right above my parents beach house, so we were essentially still with family. It was nice not having to sleep on an air mattress in the living room this time, ha! We went on 5 mile walks to Starbucks everyday, golfed in Coronado, went to the beach, and just enjoyed the cool weather and awesome view.

One day Matt and I will be living on the coast in So Cal, we just don't know when. I guess when it comes down to it, I am excited for that adventure. I will post another blog about that later. Overall, our summer was very relaxing. After we got back from San Diego, I felt refreshed and ready to get back to my classroom and work. I did think about school almost everyday over the summer, but I didn't have to do anything about it until the end of July.

Now, it is already August. School starts in 4 days, and my classroom is ALMOST ready to go.

I still have some more things to hang and get ready, but overall I think it will be ok for Meet the Teacher tomorrow night. It took me 2 weeks to prepare my room...who says teachers don't work in their off time?!?! I went in a week and a half before our contracts actually started, and I definitely was not the only one in the building. Teachers are some of the hardest workers I know! I am so excited for this school year, because I already feel comfortable and ready. Last year, I was so overwhelmed as a new teacher that I had no idea what to expect! This year, I am familiar with the school, people, and half of my students already! The best part about moving up a grade is that I got to keep half of my class from last year! I already have parents emailing me telling me they are excited and that their kids can't wait. That makes me feel so good as a teacher. I also feel good knowing that my students are comfortable and not nervous. Here is to a great school year!

Ok so on to more exciting things happening this year. Our wedding! In 2 1/2 months I get to marry my best friend. I am so excited it's not even funny! Last night we went to a beautiful wedding, and it was so cute to hear Matt say things like, "That will be us." or "Oh we should do that babe!" I love that he has input and is just as excited as I am. With that being said, we only have 2 1/2 months! Ahhhh there are still so many things that need to be done, and with the school year starting I don't have as much freedom and time to get to appointments and meet with people! One thing that I am kind of stressing about that still needs to be done for the wedding is our cake! Who waits that long?!?!? LOL! Hopefully we can get that done this month and that stress can be gone. I am just excited to see family and have everyone see the reception area. I really feel like I have designed it to be so simple and classy. That is what we are going for! Along with the wedding coming up, I have my bridal shower this month! My best friend and Maid of Honor Jenn has been so amazing with setting it up and offering her house to host it. I know it is going to be beautiful and I can't wait to see everyone at the shower. We also have my bachlorette party in September where another one of my best friends, Lynn, is flying in from Boston. I am beyond excited to see her! That is going to be a blast! On top of all the wedding adventures, we are getting excited for the honeymoon, and Christmas, and the holiday season. :) There are so many things to be thankful for in life. I am truly so blessed and happy with where mine is going, and I need to tell myself that more often. Not everyone is this lucky ;)
Well that is it for now..thanks for tuning in! I will try to update about the first week of school...but all teachers know, it goes by very fast, and there is not enough time in the week to do ANYTHING!
Have a great August!

My Goals

So as summer quickly approached and I anticipated the thought of having 2 whole months off, I set a lot of goals and things that I wanted to accomplish this summer. So far I have only been working on one of those goals. Weight loss and healthy me. I cannot even believe how much effort and thought is going toward this goal! I am so excited and happy to finally feel like I am getting back to "myself". You see, with all of the cancer stuff and things that have happened with my health in the past two years, I sort of lost focus on who I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve in life. It kind of became more of a "let's kick this stuff out of me" mindset. Not a bad mindset to have when diagnosed with cancer...but it was all that consumed me. I had anxiety, I thought something was ALWAYS going to be wrong with me. Well now that I feel settled into my teaching job, our apartment is FINALLY big enough for the two of us (no more 1 bedroom nonsense) and our wedding planning is well underway, I am finally starting to get a sense of normalcy to my life again. Gone are the days of blood draws every two weeks, calcium concerns, doctors visits, ultra sounds, and body scans. Don't get me wrong, I still have to do those things every year to make sure all is well, but its not so frequent and fresh on my mind all of the time.

So here I am halfway through week three of my fitness journey. Way back in May, I set it in my mind that I was going to get a trainer, and I was going to lose 20 pounds by the wedding. That is it. That is all I want. Luckily, my parents really good friend has a son who is a personal trainer. He does freelance and will meet you at any gym to help you. He also helps with the nutrition thing, and he lays things right out there for you. Easy right? It actually has not been as bad as I thought it was going to be. We meet twice a week to do heavy weight lifting (he kills me every time) and then I have to do cardio on my own. *his plan of course. He also set a limit on my calories, protein, fat and carbs. So far it seems to be working. I can't believe all of the junk I was eating before, and how many calories I was truly consuming! I mean I did have a slight addiction to fast food and bar food, but seriously I think I was consuming about 3,500 calories a day. SO BAD!

 I absolutely LOVE going to the gym now! I have always been a people watcher and loved going to Starbucks (Ahem-300 calories in my ONE drink I used to get 4x a week!) to watch people and just hang out. Well now, I sit and literally do 45 minutes of cardio just so I can watch people! The gym is the best place! Plus I have to wait for Matt to finish his workouts so it works out for me to do that much cardio. This coming from the girl that used to do 15mins and be done. I am enjoying this journey so far, and have found a new way to people watch. People are so funny at the gym. I saw a guy making lion noises to pump himself up. Ummmm OK?!?! I also love watching those girls that think they are all that, yet they are only lifting like 5lbs and just trying to look pretty. Hmmm hardly a work out ladies.

Well, so far in my third week of this, I have lost 7 pounds. only 13 more to go to reach my short term goal of 20 pounds. Ultimately I would like to lose 50 pounds. I know I will get there if I stay on this path and say no to those foods that were making me fat! I also got really really really cute new gym shoes. They kind of keep me motivated :)

As for my other goals this summer? I want to plan for my new grade. I want to get everything organized for school. I want to organize our closet and office. We also have a couple of trips this summer. I know I need to enjoy the summer and not think about school, but I can't help but get excited for my classroom and my second year of teaching :). I will update more about the summer and our trips soon! Thanks for reading and for all of the support on this fitness journey in 115* weather!

Flagstaff

So I have come to the realization that Flagstaff is truly an amazing place. Growing up, I used to always come up here in the summers and camp for my dad's softball tournaments. I always loved it. I never imagined actually going to NAU and living up here for 5 years though. Weird right? I always dreamed to go to SDSU. Well, reality hit and my parents couldn't afford out of state tuition so I had to choose an in state University. NAU was probably the best decision of my life. I had my first love, joined a sorority, danced on bar tops, met my future husband and found myself in Flagstaff. I will always cherish the memories made up here. Every now and then we get the opportunity to come up here and just visit. Luckily Matt's mom and step dad still live here so we always have somewhere to stay.

As I am sitting in my favorite Starbucks on Milton, I am thankful to have these days. Thankful that Flagstaff will always be here. In my heart of hearts I want to move back so bad, but know that with Matt's job it is not reality. Maybe one day when he makes it rich (I know I won't on a teachers salary) we can get a cabin in the woods and make it our summer home. One day. A girl can dream right?!

I have come a long way in the 3 1/2 years since I left this place. I am happy with where I am now and what I have conquered and accomplished, but I can't help but love this little piece of me. Of Matt. Of both of us. I love this place! Thank you Flagstaff for all the college memories :)

Summer

Why hello there fellow friends! Sorry it has taken me.....8 MONTHS! to post again. Life totally got away from me for a while!
Well, I did it! I successfully completed my first official year of teaching! Wow! I feel like it was just yesterday that I walked into the school and awkwardly met my team and saw my future classroom. I was so overwhelmed and felt like I should not have been there. I had no idea what to do, where to start, and what the heck to teach! Now, I am finished with a whole year and I couldn't be more proud and happy.
I cannot believe how hard teaching is! There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my classroom, curriculum or kids. I am constantly researching new ideas and ways to teach things. Now we have the new Common Core Standards, so I am researching things on that...
Next year I will be teaching K-1. Which means I get to keep half of my amazing kids and get half new kinders. I am excited because I already know where to start with my first graders. I have all of the info on where we left off, and I can start with them there. First grade is going to be a totally new experience for me! I have to figure out their social and emotional demands as well. (I've always been in a younger classroom so its kind of a change for me) I can't wait to see what it brings, and I am excited to go back to the same school, in the same classroom. I will feel better and more confident going into next school year.

With that being said, I am totally taking advantage of this paid summer thing. I have always worked summers before because the school I was at had summer camps. I liked working summers because it was really laid back and relaxing, but it was still work. I now have 2 full months of NO WORK! At first I was thinking that I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I spoke too soon. This summer is so jam packed that it is going to fly as fast as the past 8 months has! June is totally full with planning with my team, workouts with my new trainer (I'll get to that!) a wedding in Dallas, and wedding planning for our wedding. Then when July hits, we are headed to Flag for the 4th and before we know it San Diego on the 14th. I already have to go back to school the first week of August. In the grand scheme of things, I do not have that much time to just "do whatever". It is nice to be able to sleep in and wake up whenever I please though. I have also been a total fish the past few days and have been out by the pool soaking up the sun. We also went to Vegas a few days after the last day of school. That was such a blast! We all did the zipline over Fremont St. That is a MUST do! It is only $20 bucks. I thought it was going to be more! I totally want to zipline when we go to the Bahamas for the wedding :)

Wedding plans are coming along. We are ordering the invitations and picking out templates this week. We are also meeting with our pastor and picking out linens for the reception. We still have  A LOT to do, but that is why I waited until summertime. I knew I could devote some more time to it. I have a vision in my head for my "perfect" reception. Hopefully I get what I want. Matt has been so easy going with plans. He says as long as it is not over the top and really girly he is OK with what I pick out :).

Matt has been working hard. He is still editing for 3 Gun Nation. He is now considered the editor. He travels a lot, but he loves his job. It is weird for us to adjust being around each other ALL of the time now that I am home. I have to remember that he works from home, and just because he is here doesn't mean I can bug him all of the time ;). He probably loves when I go out to the pool!

Well, there is an update for you! I know it has been a long time, and I could totally write more. I will try   to stay updated this summer and share all of our summer trips and fun things! Thanks for reading! Happy Summer!!!!!

Fall Break

 Well, it is Friday..the Friday before my Fall Break ends :( It went by way too fast, and the whole time I think I thought about work. Does that ever go away?! Probably not. Oh well, I guess that is the life of a teacher. I have conferences all next week and my kiddos get out at 2 everyday. When is my first conference you ask??? On Monday morning at 7:30 am! Ahhh!! So not ready! I think I will be ok, but seriously what was I thinking when I scheduled at 7:30am conference on Monday morning after having a week off.....clearly I wasn't thinking at all. Enough about my job, Matt and I have had an awesome week! It has been nice for him having me home, because usually he only has a few hours a day to spend with me. He works from home, so it was nice for me too because we actually got to do some things together.

My break started off with me and my wonderful family and bridesmaids going to look for a wedding dress! First of all the place screwed up and called us a few days before saying they had overbooked for our scheduled appointment time....umm sorry but we made our appointment a month ago, why do you need to switch ours?! Well being the wonderful customers that we are, we changed our appointment to an hour and a half later. Thank goodness everyone was still able to come out and help me find my dress. After about the 4th dress (going into this I had no idea what I wanted except maybe a sweetheart style top) I put on a really elegant looking dress. When I walked out everyone ooohhed and ahhhhed, and my mom got teary eyed. I of course got teary eyed when I saw her. Everyone loved this one, but I told myself I had to try on at least a few more just to make sure. So after 3 more dresses, I put "the one" back on. That confirmed it. We put it on with the veil and they had me walk around in it. It is so comfy and it is so me! I decided that was the dress! We put our money down, and it comes at the end of November! It feels so real now that we actually have the dress! Next is finding bridesmaid dresses! After the appointment we decided to all go to lunch at Oregano's. Big mistake. 45 minute wait at 2 in the afternoon.....we headed to Olive Garden for soup and salad instead. That was a really good day and I am so lucky to have had wonderful friends and family to share it with :)

The following Monday, Matt, my mom, Sadie, and I all headed to Flagstaff for our engagement session. You can see some of our pictures here. We left Phoenix around 9:30 am because we just wanted to get up to the cooler weather and hang out around the town. We stopped in Camp Verde for our usual Starbucks run, and headed on up the mountain. My mom was funny because she has never done a long car ride with Sadie. Our dog has really high anxiety about car rides. We have found a way to take her on long trips. We put her in her kennel with the seats down, and she lays down and relaxes. She still wont look at you and she wont let you touch her when she is in the car. Our dog is weird. My mom thought it was funny, and she tried to get her attention the whole way up. We got into town around 11:30, and decided to go eat lunch somewhere outside. It was breezy and cool, about 60 degrees! We went to the new brewery downtown (Flag has changed so much since we lived up there) and asked if we could take the pup out on the patio. They said we had to tie her up outside of the fence and that she couldnt be with us. Um hello? Isn't Flagstaff dog friendly? Apparently not the new places..We walked over to Altitudes and ended up on the patio there. It worked out better because Mondays are half price burger days. :) We got some wings and some burgers. So yummy! After lunch we walked around downtown and just enjoyed the beautiful weather. Then we headed up to Snowbowl to meet Lizzie for our pictures. We had so much fun goofing off and kissing each other all afternoon :) Lizzie was so great with us and our crazy dog, and she took some amazing shots! After the mountain we headed down to NAU to take some more pics. Sadly North Campus was under construction, but we found some good spots to take some awesome pictures! Monday was so much fun, I did not want it to end!

The rest of my fall break was spent being lazy, cleaning, and trying to get some work done for new lessons for my babes. I really have not gotten much done, but that is OK because I still have 3 days :) I am going to live up these next 3 days, and start a countdown until my next little break....Thanksgiving. Which happens to be my favorite holiday. Enjoy your October everyone, its almost over!

October Already?!

So I was just looking at my calendar in my phone, and I can't believe that it is October. October 2nd. What the hell. When did that happen?! I feel like this year is already going by so fast! It feels like just yesterday that we were in San Diego, and now its October.
Speaking of October, when is it going to be nice enough to open the windows?! If we were still in Flag, we would be in jeans and sweaters with the windows open enjoying the crisp air. Too bad we live in Phoenix. Its brown, its ugly, and its hot. I long for the time when Matt and I can move back somewhere cool. Who knows if it will actually happen, but a girl can dream. There is hope for us though, my weather app says that on Thursday its going to be 74 for the high....I will believe it when I see it! Don't get me wrong I would be ecstatic if that were the case, but I honestly cannot see that happening. It doesn't get down into the 70's for a high until like January. Us Phoenicians also think that 74 degrees is FREEZING, and we are all bundled up...weird.
Besides griping about the weather and it already being October, I feel the need to gripe about teaching today. Pardon me if this post sucks, but I really just need to gripe!

I love teaching. I love my job. But there are some days when I feel like a complete failure! Teaching is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I think people really underestimate what teachers do and go through. You can all say you understand and you feel for us blah blah. But until you actually step into our position, you don't get it. It's constantly communicating with parents. Constantly saying "please listen to me while I am talking, its not your turn." or "sit down" or "get to work". It is constant paperwork, assessments, phone calls, assemblies, homework checking and packet assembling, making sure the kids are getting what they need and are challenged, making sure they are not bored. It is also making sure that you have done the right amount of assessments to fill out report cards and have them be accurate, hoping that when conferences come you know what the hell you are talking about. I am completely overwhelmed with the report card process that I don't think I am going to make it through. I want to be able to enjoy my fall break and not stress about conferences, but that is not going to happen. I am too much of a perfectionist to really relax. I want to KNOW that I am doing the right thing. I want everything to be super organized and easy to access. I want my storage to be beautiful and in containers and drawers and boxes. That is completely impossible, unless I want to spend every waking hour in my classroom. I know that I am in the right profession, and I will eventually be good at it. I am just really struggling with finding my groove and wanting to go into work in the morning without feeling some form of high anxiety. I also know that I am not the only one out there that feels like this or has felt like this in the teaching profession. It is just nice to be able to say it out loud. If you are a teacher and you are reading this, I will take ANY advice to make this process easier. I will listen to any instances where you have felt this way. I think just being able to talk through all of this and live it everyday will help, but I am just overwhelmed and I feel like I am drowning. I will get through it, eventually.
Thanks for reading friends. Here is to a better post when conferences are over! :)
Em