So I was just looking at my calendar in my phone, and I can't believe that it is October. October 2nd. What the hell. When did that happen?! I feel like this year is already going by so fast! It feels like just yesterday that we were in San Diego, and now its October.
Speaking of October, when is it going to be nice enough to open the windows?! If we were still in Flag, we would be in jeans and sweaters with the windows open enjoying the crisp air. Too bad we live in Phoenix. Its brown, its ugly, and its hot. I long for the time when Matt and I can move back somewhere cool. Who knows if it will actually happen, but a girl can dream. There is hope for us though, my weather app says that on Thursday its going to be 74 for the high....I will believe it when I see it! Don't get me wrong I would be ecstatic if that were the case, but I honestly cannot see that happening. It doesn't get down into the 70's for a high until like January. Us Phoenicians also think that 74 degrees is FREEZING, and we are all bundled up...weird.
Besides griping about the weather and it already being October, I feel the need to gripe about teaching today. Pardon me if this post sucks, but I really just need to gripe!
I love teaching. I love my job. But there are some days when I feel like a complete failure! Teaching is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I think people really underestimate what teachers do and go through. You can all say you understand and you feel for us blah blah. But until you actually step into our position, you don't get it. It's constantly communicating with parents. Constantly saying "please listen to me while I am talking, its not your turn." or "sit down" or "get to work". It is constant paperwork, assessments, phone calls, assemblies, homework checking and packet assembling, making sure the kids are getting what they need and are challenged, making sure they are not bored. It is also making sure that you have done the right amount of assessments to fill out report cards and have them be accurate, hoping that when conferences come you know what the hell you are talking about. I am completely overwhelmed with the report card process that I don't think I am going to make it through. I want to be able to enjoy my fall break and not stress about conferences, but that is not going to happen. I am too much of a perfectionist to really relax. I want to KNOW that I am doing the right thing. I want everything to be super organized and easy to access. I want my storage to be beautiful and in containers and drawers and boxes. That is completely impossible, unless I want to spend every waking hour in my classroom. I know that I am in the right profession, and I will eventually be good at it. I am just really struggling with finding my groove and wanting to go into work in the morning without feeling some form of high anxiety. I also know that I am not the only one out there that feels like this or has felt like this in the teaching profession. It is just nice to be able to say it out loud. If you are a teacher and you are reading this, I will take ANY advice to make this process easier. I will listen to any instances where you have felt this way. I think just being able to talk through all of this and live it everyday will help, but I am just overwhelmed and I feel like I am drowning. I will get through it, eventually.
Thanks for reading friends. Here is to a better post when conferences are over! :)
Em
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wedding thoughts....
Well, Matt and I have been engaged for 2 and a half months now....where the heck did the time go?! It is going to be October tomorrow, and in a year we will be 27 days away from our wedding. Our wedding has kind of taken a back seat to both of our jobs. I am taking on my first official year of teaching, and he is working hard and traveling once a month for his TV show. Needless to say, we have not sat down and thought about a lot of details for the wedding. Luckily for me (and Matt) I am a control freak, and know exactly what I want for our wedding. I pretty much have it all planned out in my head. Thanks to my mom we already have our venue booked, the DJ booked, our photographer (family friend who is AWESOME, Lizzie Kimball...go look her up!) and the first appointment for trying on wedding dresses! We will be doing that next weekend! I am so beyond excited. I have not really been able to think about it because my thoughts are literally consumed by teaching, my kids, and trying to be the "perfect" teacher. I have also come to realize, that being slightly OCD and a perfectionist doesn't really go well with the teaching profession. I mean it makes it great for keeping things organized and knowing what I need to do next, but with kids its so unpredictable. Things change on a moments notice, and the lesson you wanted to present may not be what they need at the time. Very stressful for a girl who thinks she has everything figured out ;)
Ok back to the wedding. There I go again talking about my job. I don't think there is really anything else I talk about these days. I am at the school for 10 hours everyday. It is literally my life.
I think I know what I want for my wedding dress, but I am not 100% sure. I am just excited to try things on and see what looks best on my body type. I definitely want a lot of pretty beading on the top part, and I want a flowing princessy type thing on the bottom. I just don't want to over do it. I really just want our wedding to be simple but classy. The colors are going to be a darker teal, black, and white. The bridesmaids will be wearing short black cocktail type dresses and yes they will all be in the same dress. I like the idea of letting them pick whatever they want as long as it is black, but once again my OCD comes into play and I just want to keep it traditional and have them all in the same dress. The teal is going to be in the ribbon around the flowers that we all hold, and the flowers are going to be bright orange, red, and yellow. Traditional fall colors. I think I am also going to go with gerber daisy's or however you spell that word. Like I said, simple.
The black and white comes into play at the reception. The tables are going to be covered with long black linens that go to the ground, and the overlay is going to be the white and black damask print. The napkins will also be black with a teal napkin ring. I also want to put some teal into the centerpieces. I have no idea what kind of centerpieces yet, but I know I want something with candles, and the letter 'B' for Barton. :)
I really am excited and can't wait until it gets closer and the year turns to 2012. I think it will feel a lot more real then.
We are also going to go to Flagstaff on my school's Fall Break for our engagement photos. We plan on taking pictures in the aspens, downtown Flag, and on NAU's north campus where the old buildings are. Sadie will be a part of the pictures, and so will the beautiful fall colors. Our photographer is awesome. She is getting married in Flag next August, so she knows a lot about the scenery and where to take beautiful pictures. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. She did an amazing job on the pictures she took of us in San Diego, so I know these will be great!
As for now, I am busy preparing for my first round of conferences and report cards. The grading period officially ends next Friday. I plan on having all of my report cards done so that I can enjoy my break and focus on the conference part. The conferences are the week after Fall Break. I wish they would have done everything before so that I could really relax, but nope they don't think about us teachers in the big offices ;)
Happy Fall everyone!
Ok back to the wedding. There I go again talking about my job. I don't think there is really anything else I talk about these days. I am at the school for 10 hours everyday. It is literally my life.
I think I know what I want for my wedding dress, but I am not 100% sure. I am just excited to try things on and see what looks best on my body type. I definitely want a lot of pretty beading on the top part, and I want a flowing princessy type thing on the bottom. I just don't want to over do it. I really just want our wedding to be simple but classy. The colors are going to be a darker teal, black, and white. The bridesmaids will be wearing short black cocktail type dresses and yes they will all be in the same dress. I like the idea of letting them pick whatever they want as long as it is black, but once again my OCD comes into play and I just want to keep it traditional and have them all in the same dress. The teal is going to be in the ribbon around the flowers that we all hold, and the flowers are going to be bright orange, red, and yellow. Traditional fall colors. I think I am also going to go with gerber daisy's or however you spell that word. Like I said, simple.
The black and white comes into play at the reception. The tables are going to be covered with long black linens that go to the ground, and the overlay is going to be the white and black damask print. The napkins will also be black with a teal napkin ring. I also want to put some teal into the centerpieces. I have no idea what kind of centerpieces yet, but I know I want something with candles, and the letter 'B' for Barton. :)
I really am excited and can't wait until it gets closer and the year turns to 2012. I think it will feel a lot more real then.
We are also going to go to Flagstaff on my school's Fall Break for our engagement photos. We plan on taking pictures in the aspens, downtown Flag, and on NAU's north campus where the old buildings are. Sadie will be a part of the pictures, and so will the beautiful fall colors. Our photographer is awesome. She is getting married in Flag next August, so she knows a lot about the scenery and where to take beautiful pictures. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. She did an amazing job on the pictures she took of us in San Diego, so I know these will be great!
As for now, I am busy preparing for my first round of conferences and report cards. The grading period officially ends next Friday. I plan on having all of my report cards done so that I can enjoy my break and focus on the conference part. The conferences are the week after Fall Break. I wish they would have done everything before so that I could really relax, but nope they don't think about us teachers in the big offices ;)
Happy Fall everyone!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Fall, Blogs, and Coffee Creamer
Ok, there are 3 things that I am obsessed with right now. Fall, blogs, and coffee creamer. Yes, coffee creamer. I love all of the flavors they are coming out with. Right now we have french vanilla (classic, its always in our fridge) hazelnut, white chocolate caramel latte, and caramel machiatto. Not really feeling the hazelnut or caramel machiatto, but the white chocolate caramel latte is my favorite!! I love to go to the store and buy new creamers to try. I also am truly obsessed with my Keurig coffee maker. Matt doesnt drink coffee so its perfect because I dont waste a whole pot of coffee. I am super excited that they are coming out with all of their fall coffees, and cant wait to try a pumpkin spice one with the K-Cups. I am also really excited that Dunkin Donuts decided to jump on the K-cup bandwagon. I LOVE their coffee! Now I am just waiting for Starbucks to do the same thing....I know....Starbucks and Dunkin?! Total rivals, but I dont care, I love coffee and they both have totally different flavors.
Another obsession is FALL. I love fall, and anything to do with fall. I was trying to hold out and not bust out my fall stuff until the end of September, but I couldnt do it. I had to do it today. I already started burning the fall candles, but its not the same when the fall decor is not out. I cleaned, and decorated! Ive got my fall leaves on my cabinets, and all of my pumpkin stuff out...I am holding out on putting our fall wreath on our door because I dont want people to think I am a crazy holiday lady...(I still have our patriotic summery one on there). I totally miss the Flagstaff days where the mornings were really brisk and chilly, and the days were just perfect. I miss the leaves changing. I miss the smell of the prescribed burns. I miss seeing pine needles everywhere. I just miss having a changing season. I also hate feeling grumpy with the weather man because he tells me its going to be 110 for ten days in a row. Thank goodness that is changing. Sad when we think 99 degrees is a relief and "feels good". I guess I am a true Arizonan. I cant wait to do fall crafts with my kiddos, and make fall bulletin boards. I cant wait to put all of my fall work on the shelves and teach about the season. I cant wait until it actually gets cold enough to put a light jacket on....yes light jacket is about as heavy as we get down here....I just want it to do something different other than be sunny and hot! My poor students are trying to graph the weather for the month of September, and our graph will probably just be sunny. Lame. Cant really teach greater than or less than or any graphing activities with that. A girl can dream about someday moving back to Flagstaff or a place just like it. :)
Blogs. When did they actually become so popular?? I love reading blogs. I get so many ideas, and its fun to read about what everyone is doing. I started my blog to keep my family updated about my cancer and my health. It has turned into something fun, and it feels good to write about things. I dont know if anyone actually reads my blog, but I will keep doing it. It makes me feel good, and its fun to look back on it years from now. I actually read my first blog about my cancer, and it brought back a lot of memories I havent thought about it a while. So if you do read this, thanks. Hope it keeps you as entertained as I am when I read everyone else's blogs.
For now, I am done writing. Ill be back. I promise :)
Another obsession is FALL. I love fall, and anything to do with fall. I was trying to hold out and not bust out my fall stuff until the end of September, but I couldnt do it. I had to do it today. I already started burning the fall candles, but its not the same when the fall decor is not out. I cleaned, and decorated! Ive got my fall leaves on my cabinets, and all of my pumpkin stuff out...I am holding out on putting our fall wreath on our door because I dont want people to think I am a crazy holiday lady...(I still have our patriotic summery one on there). I totally miss the Flagstaff days where the mornings were really brisk and chilly, and the days were just perfect. I miss the leaves changing. I miss the smell of the prescribed burns. I miss seeing pine needles everywhere. I just miss having a changing season. I also hate feeling grumpy with the weather man because he tells me its going to be 110 for ten days in a row. Thank goodness that is changing. Sad when we think 99 degrees is a relief and "feels good". I guess I am a true Arizonan. I cant wait to do fall crafts with my kiddos, and make fall bulletin boards. I cant wait to put all of my fall work on the shelves and teach about the season. I cant wait until it actually gets cold enough to put a light jacket on....yes light jacket is about as heavy as we get down here....I just want it to do something different other than be sunny and hot! My poor students are trying to graph the weather for the month of September, and our graph will probably just be sunny. Lame. Cant really teach greater than or less than or any graphing activities with that. A girl can dream about someday moving back to Flagstaff or a place just like it. :)
Blogs. When did they actually become so popular?? I love reading blogs. I get so many ideas, and its fun to read about what everyone is doing. I started my blog to keep my family updated about my cancer and my health. It has turned into something fun, and it feels good to write about things. I dont know if anyone actually reads my blog, but I will keep doing it. It makes me feel good, and its fun to look back on it years from now. I actually read my first blog about my cancer, and it brought back a lot of memories I havent thought about it a while. So if you do read this, thanks. Hope it keeps you as entertained as I am when I read everyone else's blogs.
For now, I am done writing. Ill be back. I promise :)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
School Days...
Well here we are again! I am really impressed with myself this time around, because I am blogging two times in one month. That is totally rare, and shocking because I have been so consumed by my new teaching job. I never thought it would be this hard to be a teacher. I mean I knew it was hard, and I have watched others do it, but when I stepped into this position, I had no idea I would be tossing and turning at night thinking about my kids, the classroom, and the lessons I am giving them. It literally consumes my thoughts 24/7. Dont get me wrong, I absolutely love what I am doing, but I just had no idea what I was in for!
Lets start off with the first day of school....it literally came up so fast, and now it feels like forever ago. I thought I was prepared, I went through every little thing in my classroom and had a procedure or rule for it (so I thought). The first day, I showed up to work at 7am *the kids dont start until 8:20am. I was up all night, and ready for the little guys to come! Turns out I had duty the first day out front for parent drop off....umm I felt like an ass out there because I had no idea what to do, and what the norms were at the school for drop off procedures..no big deal...that was pretty successful, and the other teachers knew I was new....
Then,
The BELL RANG. Shit. I have to go get them now.....and I have to keep them busy and happy for 6 hours....
I walked to the kindergarten playground and had them line up with me. I had no kids crying, and everyone was excited! The parents were awesome and said good-bye right away. We sat around and waited for the other kinder classes to go in. My angels were sooooo quiet and good! We got inside, and remember when I said I had a procedure for everything? Nope. I forgot about backpacks and lunch boxes. How stupid! I quickly cleared a shelf for the lunch boxes, and told them to hang their backpacks on their hooks, then go find their name tags at circle time....ahhhh I was freaking out! We already missed the pledge and announcements by waiting outside for so long, what the heck now?!
I did a morning song, name game, the usual. We went over rules, and all that fun stuff the whole day. Before I knew it, it was over. Crap, I did it?! We actually got stuff done, and they followed the rules, and they listened and we practiced lining up, and I got them home safely?
Here we are now in the 3rd, almost 4th, week of school. My kids know the routine, they work hard, and I constantly get compliments from the librarian, and people in the hallway. I cant believe my luck with my class! I have a GREAT class! They listen, with the exception of a few outbursts from some, and they can walk in a straight line and turn off their voices in the hallway. They are respectful and just plain wonderful! The best part? They tell me they love me everyday. I must be doing something right. One little girl told me today that she is going to be the best student so she can help me to be a great teacher. (they know I am new) They constantly look to me at assemblies, P.E., and at the Library when I come to pick them up...they want to make sure I am there. They check to know that I am there. That is the best feeling to know that they NEED me there. They want me to teach them. I cant even begin to describe the other feelings I have about my job, but it is awesome. It may be hard, and I may work 24/7, but I would not have it any other way. These kids are the best thing and they can turn a bad morning (coffee spilling in my cup holder, no gas, etc.) into an awesome day!
Matt has been so supportive through all of this as well. He has been working really hard for the show and he started school again. He is only taking a few classes this semester, but he is almost done! So exciting! We are also moving this weekend. So hard to think about when I have my kids to think about too...but it will be worth it to be in a bigger place. I am actually really excited to start decorating for fall, and getting my fall candles out :) I will have more room for decorations too!
As the year goes on, I will add more blogs about my crazy first year of teaching, our wedding plans, and life in general. As for now, my hands hurt, and I am tired!
Happy Thursday everyone!
Em
Lets start off with the first day of school....it literally came up so fast, and now it feels like forever ago. I thought I was prepared, I went through every little thing in my classroom and had a procedure or rule for it (so I thought). The first day, I showed up to work at 7am *the kids dont start until 8:20am. I was up all night, and ready for the little guys to come! Turns out I had duty the first day out front for parent drop off....umm I felt like an ass out there because I had no idea what to do, and what the norms were at the school for drop off procedures..no big deal...that was pretty successful, and the other teachers knew I was new....
Then,
The BELL RANG. Shit. I have to go get them now.....and I have to keep them busy and happy for 6 hours....
I walked to the kindergarten playground and had them line up with me. I had no kids crying, and everyone was excited! The parents were awesome and said good-bye right away. We sat around and waited for the other kinder classes to go in. My angels were sooooo quiet and good! We got inside, and remember when I said I had a procedure for everything? Nope. I forgot about backpacks and lunch boxes. How stupid! I quickly cleared a shelf for the lunch boxes, and told them to hang their backpacks on their hooks, then go find their name tags at circle time....ahhhh I was freaking out! We already missed the pledge and announcements by waiting outside for so long, what the heck now?!
I did a morning song, name game, the usual. We went over rules, and all that fun stuff the whole day. Before I knew it, it was over. Crap, I did it?! We actually got stuff done, and they followed the rules, and they listened and we practiced lining up, and I got them home safely?
Here we are now in the 3rd, almost 4th, week of school. My kids know the routine, they work hard, and I constantly get compliments from the librarian, and people in the hallway. I cant believe my luck with my class! I have a GREAT class! They listen, with the exception of a few outbursts from some, and they can walk in a straight line and turn off their voices in the hallway. They are respectful and just plain wonderful! The best part? They tell me they love me everyday. I must be doing something right. One little girl told me today that she is going to be the best student so she can help me to be a great teacher. (they know I am new) They constantly look to me at assemblies, P.E., and at the Library when I come to pick them up...they want to make sure I am there. They check to know that I am there. That is the best feeling to know that they NEED me there. They want me to teach them. I cant even begin to describe the other feelings I have about my job, but it is awesome. It may be hard, and I may work 24/7, but I would not have it any other way. These kids are the best thing and they can turn a bad morning (coffee spilling in my cup holder, no gas, etc.) into an awesome day!
Matt has been so supportive through all of this as well. He has been working really hard for the show and he started school again. He is only taking a few classes this semester, but he is almost done! So exciting! We are also moving this weekend. So hard to think about when I have my kids to think about too...but it will be worth it to be in a bigger place. I am actually really excited to start decorating for fall, and getting my fall candles out :) I will have more room for decorations too!
As the year goes on, I will add more blogs about my crazy first year of teaching, our wedding plans, and life in general. As for now, my hands hurt, and I am tired!
Happy Thursday everyone!
Em
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Changes
Wow, it feels like forever since my last blog....maybe because it was about two months ago? Well, a lot has happened this summer! So many amazing changes and things have been going on for Matt and I, so excuse me while I ramble on about life...
First off, we are ENGAGED!!!!! :) I am sure most of you that actually read my blog, know this already. I am beyond excited! Every summer since Matt and I have been together (which will be 3 years this September) we have gone to San Diego in July. It has become our little tradition, that we look forward to every year, and we wont be changing it anytime soon! Well this year, Matt had something up his sleeve...He asked me at sunset our 3rd night there..we had just gotten back from a really good dinner in Old Town, and Matt asked if I wanted to go walk down to the water and just hang out. Of course! My parents went on their own walk, and Matt and I walked down to the beach. We got there around 7:15...I remember this because Matt kept saying, "I hope the sunset happens soon!" haha and I kept saying, "babe, its San Diego, the sun doesnt go down until 8 or so..." I dont think he really believed me...because we stayed out on the beach until after the sunset...which to me felt like forever because I had no idea what was going on, I thought we were just farting around and hanging out....I was happy and content, but didnt really care about the sunset because I have seen the sunset on the beach about 20,000 times...so he basically had to keep me occupied and walking so that I wouldnt try to go back to the beach house....anyways, we walked to the lifeguard tower (#11) and sat in front of it and just talked and laughed....these kids came running up to it and started climbing all over it, so Matt asked if I wanted to move....I said I didnt care, and we moved anyway....we were sitting down in the sand, and I laid down on his lap...we just sat and talked and watched the sun finally go down into the water....He started saying things to me like "I love you babe" and "you are my world" which I would reply with "I know babe, I love you too!" typical response because we tell each other this everyday...well, the next thing I knew he reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring box! He set it right in front of me, opened it, and asked me to marry him! I looked at him and said..."What did you do?!" haha I was totally surprised, and of course said yes!!! The whole situation was totally us, and I wouldnt have it any other way! After that, we walked back to the beach house and told my parents...my dad knew the whole time, but my mom had NO IDEA! She was just as excited as I was! We started calling family and spreading the news! It was so awesome to be able to share that with everyone in our families....Everyone knew but me, obviously lol. With that being said, we have talked about some wedding details, but not too much because we are both so busy with our jobs....we do know that the wedding will be on October 27th, 2012. I cannot wait to marry my best friend!
Another big thing that has happened this summer is the start of my new job...I am the new Kindergarten Montessori Teacher for Mesa Public Schools. The past week and a half has been nothing but setting up my classroom, meetings, and trainings. I have been pulling 10+ hour days, and I am so exhausted! On top of me working so hard at my school, Matt is in New Mexico for his TV show. We are both so blessed to be working in the career field that we went to school for. I am so excited to start teaching, but nervous at the same time. Things are so different when you are a lead teacher, vs.being the assistant. I have a lot more responsibility, and I literally have to write EVERYTHING down! Its crazy! I have never been so consumed by something, and I am having a blast! My classroom is pretty much all set up and ready to go..I still have a few things that I need to do, but overall, I think I am ready. Now I am stressing about my record keeping, lesson planning and assessments and DIBELS. All of my pre-assessments and first DIBELS are due in the 3rd week of school! I know once I get going and get comfortable, that I will be ok, but just the thought of all that scares the crap out of me!
On top of worrying about assessments and lesson plans, I have to make my first bulletin board outside of my classroom! Um excuse me, but I was the child in art class who would sit back and say "I cant" because I do not have one artistic bone in my body! My team is trying to theme our boards because they are all in the same hallway, so I at least have that going for me, but I started today, and I already know that I will have to take it down tomorrow....No clue what I am doing! Oh well, its all in good fun, and in the end its not about the bulletin boards, its about the kiddos in my class actually learning something from me! :)
That is another big fear, that my kids will not learn a single thing from me! I know it wont happen, but there are so many things that need to get done that I worry I wont be ready for them! School starts next Wednesday, so Ill let you know how that goes ;)
On top of all of the busy-ness going on in our lives, Matt and I are moving at the end of August...I am looking at the calendar and realizing that it is ALREADY August 4th! I dont remember August arriving.....Moving day will be here before we know it, and we wont even be packed! Life is super hectic right now, and I love it! I am excited for so many things that Matt and I are going to be going through together...I could not ask for anyone better to spend my life with....lots of love, and thanks for reading!
Em
First off, we are ENGAGED!!!!! :) I am sure most of you that actually read my blog, know this already. I am beyond excited! Every summer since Matt and I have been together (which will be 3 years this September) we have gone to San Diego in July. It has become our little tradition, that we look forward to every year, and we wont be changing it anytime soon! Well this year, Matt had something up his sleeve...He asked me at sunset our 3rd night there..we had just gotten back from a really good dinner in Old Town, and Matt asked if I wanted to go walk down to the water and just hang out. Of course! My parents went on their own walk, and Matt and I walked down to the beach. We got there around 7:15...I remember this because Matt kept saying, "I hope the sunset happens soon!" haha and I kept saying, "babe, its San Diego, the sun doesnt go down until 8 or so..." I dont think he really believed me...because we stayed out on the beach until after the sunset...which to me felt like forever because I had no idea what was going on, I thought we were just farting around and hanging out....I was happy and content, but didnt really care about the sunset because I have seen the sunset on the beach about 20,000 times...so he basically had to keep me occupied and walking so that I wouldnt try to go back to the beach house....anyways, we walked to the lifeguard tower (#11) and sat in front of it and just talked and laughed....these kids came running up to it and started climbing all over it, so Matt asked if I wanted to move....I said I didnt care, and we moved anyway....we were sitting down in the sand, and I laid down on his lap...we just sat and talked and watched the sun finally go down into the water....He started saying things to me like "I love you babe" and "you are my world" which I would reply with "I know babe, I love you too!" typical response because we tell each other this everyday...well, the next thing I knew he reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring box! He set it right in front of me, opened it, and asked me to marry him! I looked at him and said..."What did you do?!" haha I was totally surprised, and of course said yes!!! The whole situation was totally us, and I wouldnt have it any other way! After that, we walked back to the beach house and told my parents...my dad knew the whole time, but my mom had NO IDEA! She was just as excited as I was! We started calling family and spreading the news! It was so awesome to be able to share that with everyone in our families....Everyone knew but me, obviously lol. With that being said, we have talked about some wedding details, but not too much because we are both so busy with our jobs....we do know that the wedding will be on October 27th, 2012. I cannot wait to marry my best friend!
Another big thing that has happened this summer is the start of my new job...I am the new Kindergarten Montessori Teacher for Mesa Public Schools. The past week and a half has been nothing but setting up my classroom, meetings, and trainings. I have been pulling 10+ hour days, and I am so exhausted! On top of me working so hard at my school, Matt is in New Mexico for his TV show. We are both so blessed to be working in the career field that we went to school for. I am so excited to start teaching, but nervous at the same time. Things are so different when you are a lead teacher, vs.being the assistant. I have a lot more responsibility, and I literally have to write EVERYTHING down! Its crazy! I have never been so consumed by something, and I am having a blast! My classroom is pretty much all set up and ready to go..I still have a few things that I need to do, but overall, I think I am ready. Now I am stressing about my record keeping, lesson planning and assessments and DIBELS. All of my pre-assessments and first DIBELS are due in the 3rd week of school! I know once I get going and get comfortable, that I will be ok, but just the thought of all that scares the crap out of me!
On top of worrying about assessments and lesson plans, I have to make my first bulletin board outside of my classroom! Um excuse me, but I was the child in art class who would sit back and say "I cant" because I do not have one artistic bone in my body! My team is trying to theme our boards because they are all in the same hallway, so I at least have that going for me, but I started today, and I already know that I will have to take it down tomorrow....No clue what I am doing! Oh well, its all in good fun, and in the end its not about the bulletin boards, its about the kiddos in my class actually learning something from me! :)
That is another big fear, that my kids will not learn a single thing from me! I know it wont happen, but there are so many things that need to get done that I worry I wont be ready for them! School starts next Wednesday, so Ill let you know how that goes ;)
On top of all of the busy-ness going on in our lives, Matt and I are moving at the end of August...I am looking at the calendar and realizing that it is ALREADY August 4th! I dont remember August arriving.....Moving day will be here before we know it, and we wont even be packed! Life is super hectic right now, and I love it! I am excited for so many things that Matt and I are going to be going through together...I could not ask for anyone better to spend my life with....lots of love, and thanks for reading!
Em
Thursday, June 30, 2011
What a difference a year makes.....
So here I am again saying "I cant believe how fast time flies!" Tomorrow is July. Freaking July! What happened to May and June? Or April for that matter?!? This year has seriously gone by so fast, and what a difference it has made! A year ago, I was fresh out of surgery and had thoughts of cancer, medication, radiation, isolation, San Diego, and wishes to go back to work. I never thought the day would come where my anxiety and all of my fears associated with what we went through were pretty much gone. I mean dont get me wrong, I still am afraid of the thought that I take medication everyday for the rest of my life, and that my calcium has to be regulated ALL of the time. I have to take vitamin D supplements, and calcium supplements on top of thyroid medication. I miss the carefree days where I didnt have to worry about that, but its my life now, and I have gotten used to it. I got onto a routine (Yes its very OCD I have been told) of waking up, taking my Synthroid right away (you have to take it on an empty stomach and cant eat for an hour after taking it) so I take it at 5am...no matter what state I am in...if we are on vacation, yep my alarm goes off at 5am ARIZONA time...I'm that anal. Ill admit it. Then an hour later around 6:05 or or 6:10 I take my other three over the counter supplements on top of my prescription vitamin D. Then I get my coffee and head off to work. :) I have a schedule and I try to stick to it! I also have to take my calcium at lunch time, and right before bed. Yes I have times for those too that I can be "flexible" with, but only have about a half an hour to spare before I start freaking out. I am a control freak. I know this. Matt knows this, and thank God he loves me for me and fully embraces my controlling nature by balancing me out with his awesome laid-back-ness. I can be laid back, I promise!
This year has already been a complete 360 from last year...Matt is almost done with school (1 more semester!) I completed my Montessori Training and got a new job as a Kindergarten Montessori teacher in a District (my dream, and what I have worked so hard for). Matt is working for a TV show and he isn't even technically done with school, and we get to go to San Diego in 2 weeks and actually ENJOY it this year! We enjoyed it last year, but it didnt have the same vibe that it did in previous years. It was rainy, cloudy, cold, and just weird because of the surgery. Dont get me wrong I love a good cloudy beach day, but everyday last year was kind of ridiculous. I also didnt feel fully like myself, so this year I plan on really letting go and having a blast! Matt is excited to go as well, and we cant wait to just hang out and leave all of our worries at home.
As you may or may not know by now, I had my 1 year scan done this week. When I got there, my endocrineologist was supposed to have sent my blood results to the radiology department. Did they?? NO! Of course not. I mean something as simple as that. I should have known. So the hospital took my blood for a pregnancy test (procedure!) and a TSH draw because the endo dropped the ball. They wouldnt even call the radiologist back when they asked for the results! I sat in the waiting room for 3 hours because that is how long it takes to get the TSH level. The TSH is the number that is important for the scan. Its the number that shows up when you are very hypo-thyroid (in my case no thyroid and off my meds) the higher the number, the more symptoms and crappy you feel. I was a 115! That is very high! I was grumpy and ready to get the stupid scan over with! Once the go ahead was given, they stuck me in the creaky tube for 25 minutes with my arms strapped to my sides. Sooo uncomfortable. I closed my eyes and tried to think of things like the beach, my new classroom, and I was praying hard for the cancer to be gone. I was praying for a lot of people actually. Finally that stupid thing rolled me out and I was done! Or so I thought........ The radiologist then told me that I had to come back the next day because they saw something in my abdomen/bowels. Ummmm what the hell?!? They then said "oh dont worry its normal, its because you are stopped up more than likely" They told me to go home and drink a bottle of laxative, and come back for a second scan. I was soooooo upset! So scared, and so upset! I went and picked up the bottle, drank it and stayed home alll night! I went in the next day, and while they were taking my scan the radiologist said "wow you are as clean as a whistle from what I can see" Whew what a relief! So after all of that, I did get a phone call from my endo saying my scan did come back negative and that I could go back on my meds! Hallelujah! I already feel better and it has only been two days back on medication.
So after my very stressful past two weeks, I am back to work and starting to feel less tired, and cranky. I also have my appetite slightly back! I dont eat very much when I am off my medication, I remember that from last year too, yet I still gain weight because I dont have a metabolism. I think I made myself sick these past two weeks after all of that stress as well. I have a hoarse throat and I am just blah! But at the same time I feel way more relaxed so a hoarse throat does not bother me. It is starting to sink in that I am starting a new job in just 4 weeks, and that I have a whole classroom to set up. I dont even really know what materials I have available to me, so I have to plan like I have everything, then go down from there. I know I have a lot of materials, and they said they could get me what I need so I am not too worried about that. I think I am more afraid of the enormous responsibility I will have compared to being an assistant. Its so HUGE! But so exciting! Being a teacher has already proven to be one of the most rewarding careers, and I cant wait for what is to come!
Well that is it for now! Here is to being cancer free again!!! Love you all and thanks for the continued support!
This year has already been a complete 360 from last year...Matt is almost done with school (1 more semester!) I completed my Montessori Training and got a new job as a Kindergarten Montessori teacher in a District (my dream, and what I have worked so hard for). Matt is working for a TV show and he isn't even technically done with school, and we get to go to San Diego in 2 weeks and actually ENJOY it this year! We enjoyed it last year, but it didnt have the same vibe that it did in previous years. It was rainy, cloudy, cold, and just weird because of the surgery. Dont get me wrong I love a good cloudy beach day, but everyday last year was kind of ridiculous. I also didnt feel fully like myself, so this year I plan on really letting go and having a blast! Matt is excited to go as well, and we cant wait to just hang out and leave all of our worries at home.
As you may or may not know by now, I had my 1 year scan done this week. When I got there, my endocrineologist was supposed to have sent my blood results to the radiology department. Did they?? NO! Of course not. I mean something as simple as that. I should have known. So the hospital took my blood for a pregnancy test (procedure!) and a TSH draw because the endo dropped the ball. They wouldnt even call the radiologist back when they asked for the results! I sat in the waiting room for 3 hours because that is how long it takes to get the TSH level. The TSH is the number that is important for the scan. Its the number that shows up when you are very hypo-thyroid (in my case no thyroid and off my meds) the higher the number, the more symptoms and crappy you feel. I was a 115! That is very high! I was grumpy and ready to get the stupid scan over with! Once the go ahead was given, they stuck me in the creaky tube for 25 minutes with my arms strapped to my sides. Sooo uncomfortable. I closed my eyes and tried to think of things like the beach, my new classroom, and I was praying hard for the cancer to be gone. I was praying for a lot of people actually. Finally that stupid thing rolled me out and I was done! Or so I thought........ The radiologist then told me that I had to come back the next day because they saw something in my abdomen/bowels. Ummmm what the hell?!? They then said "oh dont worry its normal, its because you are stopped up more than likely" They told me to go home and drink a bottle of laxative, and come back for a second scan. I was soooooo upset! So scared, and so upset! I went and picked up the bottle, drank it and stayed home alll night! I went in the next day, and while they were taking my scan the radiologist said "wow you are as clean as a whistle from what I can see" Whew what a relief! So after all of that, I did get a phone call from my endo saying my scan did come back negative and that I could go back on my meds! Hallelujah! I already feel better and it has only been two days back on medication.
So after my very stressful past two weeks, I am back to work and starting to feel less tired, and cranky. I also have my appetite slightly back! I dont eat very much when I am off my medication, I remember that from last year too, yet I still gain weight because I dont have a metabolism. I think I made myself sick these past two weeks after all of that stress as well. I have a hoarse throat and I am just blah! But at the same time I feel way more relaxed so a hoarse throat does not bother me. It is starting to sink in that I am starting a new job in just 4 weeks, and that I have a whole classroom to set up. I dont even really know what materials I have available to me, so I have to plan like I have everything, then go down from there. I know I have a lot of materials, and they said they could get me what I need so I am not too worried about that. I think I am more afraid of the enormous responsibility I will have compared to being an assistant. Its so HUGE! But so exciting! Being a teacher has already proven to be one of the most rewarding careers, and I cant wait for what is to come!
Well that is it for now! Here is to being cancer free again!!! Love you all and thanks for the continued support!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Growing up
So I know I have mentioned this before, but really, where did my young adult life go?! I mean I am still considered a young adult, but I am almost 25 and I feel like 50 is right around the corner at the rate things have been going! So many big things and exciting things have been happening for both Matt and I...
First off, I got my DREAM JOB! I have been talking about this for almost 2 years, and after countless interviews and saying no to a couple of jobs, I got the one I have been praying for! When I went back to school to get my Montessori certificate I was hooked on the methods and philosophies that Montessori can bring to a classroom setting. My eyes were opened to so many cultures and ideas. I felt so inspired to be an amazing teacher because of this training. It has always been a dream of mine to be a teacher. I just want to teach and inspire and help and be a support for families...and I want to be good at it! I always envisioned myself in a district setting, but was also struggling with not being able to provide the Montessori materials and love and respect into the traditional classroom. I believe that there are a lot of good things that a traditional setting can do for a child, and a lot of good things a Montessori setting can do for a child. I have always wanted to look into the two districts that offer Montessori in their traditional setting. I talked to a few people that knew about it, and one of my teachers works in the Mesa Public School system as a Montessori K-1 teacher. I knew that this method has been tried and true, why not put it in a traditional setting?! So a few months ago I talked to my teacher and asked her who I can contact about applying for a Montessori position with the district. She gave me an email address and I went home that day and emailed the lady. I got a response the next day saying that I need to apply to the district and note that I am Montessori certified, but that she wanted my contact info as well in case they did have any openings. I printed out the Mesa application with every intention to fill it out and send it in. I let it sit and collect on our desk for the next few months....oops. About 2 weeks ago I got an email from the same lady saying they had a position open and that I needed to apply. I sent everything in the next day, had an interview and found out a week later I got the job! Teaching Montessori Kindergarten! Soooo excited. The best part??? I found out that I got the job on the same exact day (June 8th) that I found out I had cancer, just a year ago. So last year it was a day filled with devastation and this year a day filled with joy and anticipation for my true first year of teaching! God really does work in mysterious ways and he knows what he is doing. He had a plan for when I was going to get my classroom, and He showed me that by letting me know on that very day. So needless to say since that day my brain has been non-stop thinking of lessons, ideas, and how I want to set up my classroom. I got to go check it out and meet the ladies I will be working with and I could not feel more comfortable and excited for what is in store for me this Fall.
On top of everything I have just been blessed with, Matt has been doing amazing starting his career as well. He is an assistant editor on a nationally aired TV show, and he has a few other clients and things lined up locally that he has been working on. He is a true freelance editor, and he technically still has one semester left of school! So proud of my babe and I seriously can't wait for what the future holds for him and his editing career. He gets to travel to places for business and he works all of the time, but its so worth it! We are so happy to finally be in a place where we know we can be successful and prove ourselves, because we have worked so hard to get where we are!
As far as my health goes, so far so good! I am having a hard time with my endocrineologist right now and we are considering moving offices, but I will have to wait until all of the dust settles with this next test and make sure that everything in my body is stable before I can do that. It started in April when I went in for routine blood work and a renewal on my thyroid medication. We were told that soon this summer I would have to stop my thyroid medication and get my blood drawn, then go in for a scan based on that blood draw. I had a few questions because quite honestly I was confused as to why I had to stop my meds (they make me grouchy, low energy, tired, gain weight, no metabolism, muscle cramps, hormonal, etc, etc, etc.) I went through this when they first took my thyroid out. I didnt realize I would have to do it all over again. As I was asking questions about it he was trying to explain it to me, but he was getting frustrated...he then said to me "Didnt we just go over this a year ago?!" I was pissed because um hello a year ago I was just diagnosed with cancer and had no clue what was going on!!!!! Whatever I left there upset and still not really knowing what to do except stop my meds for ten days then go get blood work. Well my blood work came back but I never got a phone call.. I had to call them...TWICE. She said that my levels are "normal" and that John C. Lincoln would call me to set up a scan. Ok good news there. I got a call from John C. Lincoln, the scan was set up and that was that. Well the next day after that...John C. Lincoln called back saying my levels are too low to scan me that I need to be off my meds for 4 weeks not 2, and that I am getting radiation. WHAT THE HELL?!?! I was never told that! I was scared! Radiation meant more cancer right?!? Well after I started crying on the phone the very nice lady ( I worked with her last year and she doesnt have a thyroid either) told me that this dose of radiation is minuscule and its for diagnostic purposes not treatment. I dont have to be isolated blah blah. Well I said what about the 17 5 year olds I come in contact with everyday?? She said oh that probably is not good. Dont go to work for a week. A WEEK?! That is so hard to get covered! I was stressing. Needless to say Villa has been amazing with this whole process and was willing to give me the week off to be safe with the kiddos and stuff. I would not want to put them in a vulnerable position I want the kids to be safe. I worked it out with John C. Lincoln so that I can get my radiation on a Friday, go for the scan on Monday, and go back to work by Wednesday. That way I am only missing 3 days of work, but I am still away from the kids for a week. It all worked out in the end, but I am still pissed at the complete lack of communication that my endo had. He also ordered the scan wayyyyy too early and if there truly was cancer back in my system, they might have missed it. So not taking that chance! My scan will be Monday June 27th, so lets just pray everything is gone. I am positive that it is, and with that attitude it will be. Everything is turning around this year for us, and our lives are really just now beginning.
With all of that being said, its crazy to think that just a year ago today, we were having a barbecue with family for Father's Day and thinking and talking about my surgery that was just about to happen that week. We all decided then that everything was going to be ok. It was a tough road, but we made it. I could not do it without the support of my friends and family and my rock Matt. He is my other half and without him I may not have been able to push through all of this as easily as I have, I love you babe!
First off, I got my DREAM JOB! I have been talking about this for almost 2 years, and after countless interviews and saying no to a couple of jobs, I got the one I have been praying for! When I went back to school to get my Montessori certificate I was hooked on the methods and philosophies that Montessori can bring to a classroom setting. My eyes were opened to so many cultures and ideas. I felt so inspired to be an amazing teacher because of this training. It has always been a dream of mine to be a teacher. I just want to teach and inspire and help and be a support for families...and I want to be good at it! I always envisioned myself in a district setting, but was also struggling with not being able to provide the Montessori materials and love and respect into the traditional classroom. I believe that there are a lot of good things that a traditional setting can do for a child, and a lot of good things a Montessori setting can do for a child. I have always wanted to look into the two districts that offer Montessori in their traditional setting. I talked to a few people that knew about it, and one of my teachers works in the Mesa Public School system as a Montessori K-1 teacher. I knew that this method has been tried and true, why not put it in a traditional setting?! So a few months ago I talked to my teacher and asked her who I can contact about applying for a Montessori position with the district. She gave me an email address and I went home that day and emailed the lady. I got a response the next day saying that I need to apply to the district and note that I am Montessori certified, but that she wanted my contact info as well in case they did have any openings. I printed out the Mesa application with every intention to fill it out and send it in. I let it sit and collect on our desk for the next few months....oops. About 2 weeks ago I got an email from the same lady saying they had a position open and that I needed to apply. I sent everything in the next day, had an interview and found out a week later I got the job! Teaching Montessori Kindergarten! Soooo excited. The best part??? I found out that I got the job on the same exact day (June 8th) that I found out I had cancer, just a year ago. So last year it was a day filled with devastation and this year a day filled with joy and anticipation for my true first year of teaching! God really does work in mysterious ways and he knows what he is doing. He had a plan for when I was going to get my classroom, and He showed me that by letting me know on that very day. So needless to say since that day my brain has been non-stop thinking of lessons, ideas, and how I want to set up my classroom. I got to go check it out and meet the ladies I will be working with and I could not feel more comfortable and excited for what is in store for me this Fall.
On top of everything I have just been blessed with, Matt has been doing amazing starting his career as well. He is an assistant editor on a nationally aired TV show, and he has a few other clients and things lined up locally that he has been working on. He is a true freelance editor, and he technically still has one semester left of school! So proud of my babe and I seriously can't wait for what the future holds for him and his editing career. He gets to travel to places for business and he works all of the time, but its so worth it! We are so happy to finally be in a place where we know we can be successful and prove ourselves, because we have worked so hard to get where we are!
As far as my health goes, so far so good! I am having a hard time with my endocrineologist right now and we are considering moving offices, but I will have to wait until all of the dust settles with this next test and make sure that everything in my body is stable before I can do that. It started in April when I went in for routine blood work and a renewal on my thyroid medication. We were told that soon this summer I would have to stop my thyroid medication and get my blood drawn, then go in for a scan based on that blood draw. I had a few questions because quite honestly I was confused as to why I had to stop my meds (they make me grouchy, low energy, tired, gain weight, no metabolism, muscle cramps, hormonal, etc, etc, etc.) I went through this when they first took my thyroid out. I didnt realize I would have to do it all over again. As I was asking questions about it he was trying to explain it to me, but he was getting frustrated...he then said to me "Didnt we just go over this a year ago?!" I was pissed because um hello a year ago I was just diagnosed with cancer and had no clue what was going on!!!!! Whatever I left there upset and still not really knowing what to do except stop my meds for ten days then go get blood work. Well my blood work came back but I never got a phone call.. I had to call them...TWICE. She said that my levels are "normal" and that John C. Lincoln would call me to set up a scan. Ok good news there. I got a call from John C. Lincoln, the scan was set up and that was that. Well the next day after that...John C. Lincoln called back saying my levels are too low to scan me that I need to be off my meds for 4 weeks not 2, and that I am getting radiation. WHAT THE HELL?!?! I was never told that! I was scared! Radiation meant more cancer right?!? Well after I started crying on the phone the very nice lady ( I worked with her last year and she doesnt have a thyroid either) told me that this dose of radiation is minuscule and its for diagnostic purposes not treatment. I dont have to be isolated blah blah. Well I said what about the 17 5 year olds I come in contact with everyday?? She said oh that probably is not good. Dont go to work for a week. A WEEK?! That is so hard to get covered! I was stressing. Needless to say Villa has been amazing with this whole process and was willing to give me the week off to be safe with the kiddos and stuff. I would not want to put them in a vulnerable position I want the kids to be safe. I worked it out with John C. Lincoln so that I can get my radiation on a Friday, go for the scan on Monday, and go back to work by Wednesday. That way I am only missing 3 days of work, but I am still away from the kids for a week. It all worked out in the end, but I am still pissed at the complete lack of communication that my endo had. He also ordered the scan wayyyyy too early and if there truly was cancer back in my system, they might have missed it. So not taking that chance! My scan will be Monday June 27th, so lets just pray everything is gone. I am positive that it is, and with that attitude it will be. Everything is turning around this year for us, and our lives are really just now beginning.
With all of that being said, its crazy to think that just a year ago today, we were having a barbecue with family for Father's Day and thinking and talking about my surgery that was just about to happen that week. We all decided then that everything was going to be ok. It was a tough road, but we made it. I could not do it without the support of my friends and family and my rock Matt. He is my other half and without him I may not have been able to push through all of this as easily as I have, I love you babe!
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