First Blog-Story of my Cancer

Alright, so I decided that after everything Matt and I have been through this summer, that I wanted to start a blog. I wanted to do this because facebook and all those sites are starting to get creepy, but I also want to keep updating my family and friends on my life and how we are doing. You gotta bare with me though because all of this setting up the blog and picking out templates and pictures and all that fun stuff...not so fun! Its more stressful, because I dont know what to do!!! So dont be surprised when my layout and pictures and fonts all change just about everyday :) Also dont be surprised if I blog a lot in the next week because I am in complete isolation for 7 days!!! I probably should explain why, although most of you reading this already know...

In April, I was diagnosed with strep throat... no big thing right? I mean I teach preschool and kindergarten so its gotta be expected. Well I went to my family doctor, she said I had strep, gave me my antibiotics and I was going to get better. Well I was wrong, three days later I couldnt even talk my throat was so bad. With my mom working in the ER, I called her and asked her what I should do because clearly the antibiotics were not working. She told me to come into her work and someone would look at it, give me a stronger medicine and I would be on my way. Well, I get to the ER and one of her nurse friends looked in my throat..her facial expression made me cry! She was horrified with what she saw! She said that I needed to be seen by a doctor and that I probably needed an IV and all that fun stuff..by this time I was balling becasuse I HATE HOSPITALS and doctors and anything associated with medicine..if you know me I am VERY high anxiety when it comes to this stuff. At this point they signed me in, stuck and IV in me and we waited for the doctor. I was dehyrated, tired, and felt like crap! The doctor came in, looked in my throat and said, oh no you have an absess. A what?! A bacterial sac where they stick a needle in your tonsil and pop it to drain it. GROSS. Typical ER procedure is to get a cat scan of the throat and neck before doing the needle procedure so they can indeed identify that it is an absess. So off I go on a stretcher to the cat scan people. Of course I was freaking at this point. They said I wouldnt stop shaking. When I got back to the room and the doctor had the results, he said the absess wasnt big enough to put a needle in there (thank you!) but that I did need a stronger antibiotic. They also asked me if I knew about the Nodule or lump on my thyroid. I said no didnt know I had that. They told me to follow up on it and that it was probably nothing, but just to be sure I needed to get an ultra sound.
A week later I went back to my mom's hospital and got an ultra sound on my thyroid. That was weird. They had picutres of cows on the ceiling and my mom and her friend were in there asking the ultra sound tech questions that I didnt want to know the answer to just yet! Ultimately he said the nodule was big, and that I had one big one on the right and two small ones on the left side. (Your thyroid is in the shape of a butterfly on the front of your throat) He told me to follow up with a biopsy of the big nodule and once again that it was probably nothing. Great how many times do I have to hear that its nothing, when clearly youre making me go through all this testing because you see something. My mom decided then to take matters into her own hands and find me the best Ear, Nose and Throat doctor she could find. She talked to my uncle who two years ago had his thyroid removed due to cancer. He told us his surgeon was amazing and reccomended we go and see him. A week after the ultra sound we had an appointment with the ENT at John C. Lincoln. We got to the office and met the doc, and he was pretty blunt and straight forward. He scared me. He stuck a big tube up my nose and down my throat. Weird. and then did all this rubbing around my neck and thyroid. Then he came back in the office with a BIG needle. He said ok im going to biopsy this thing, and send it to the lab. I freaked. I was not expecting it to be that day! I took it like a big girl, but of course I cried. He said he numbed it, but I felt the whole thing and boy did I make that known to him! It took him 3 needle sticks and digging around my neck to get enough cells to be sent to the lab. Lets just say he was not my friend after that.
(this is a long blog I know) About a week or two later, he called and said he did not get enough cells and that I had to go to radiology at John C. Lincoln to get ANOTHER biopsy. I was not having it, but I knew I had to do it. We made the appointment and I went in for that. It took that doctor 5 more needle sticks to get enough material too!!! What the heck was wrong with me?!?! At John C. Lincoln though they make you wait around after the biopsy to make sure they really did get the cells...so we went to the waiting room for about an hour for them to come out and say sorry didnt get enough come back and we need to do another one! I was so done at this point I didnt even care! So off I went for one more stick. This was the needle stick that actually got my cells. They told me they would send the results to my ENT and I would get a call from him to discuss them. I had already had an appoitnment scheduled with the ENT so we figured he would just tell us then.
Well a few days later, I was sitting in my Montessori training class when my doctor's office called. My teacher knew that I was waiting on results so I slipped outside to answer. They told me that they needed to see me right away, and when could I make an appointment to we could talk. I started crying. That usually means its bad. I called my mom and she had already talked to them. Apparently they called her first...weird since I was 23 years old and they usually dont do that. She told me to get my things and leave because my appointment was at that moment. They were squeezing me in...even worse. The whole way to the doctor I cried. I didnt know what to expect so I was expecting the worst.
The doctor told me that I had Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. I didnt eve really hear the name the first time he said it, I actually had to call my mom a day later and ask her what it was called. Basically I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, June 8th 2010. Yes I do remember the date cause I had class, and my class only met on certain dates. I was so scared, I didnt even know what to think! All I kept hearing was that it was treatable, 99% survival rate, so common, women espeically get it, blah blah blah. None of that mattered. I had cancer. IM 23!!! ALMOST 24!!! I do not have cancer. Its a mistake. I am healthy, I grew up playing sports, and leading an active life! All of these things just went through my mind. I cried the whole way home, cried with Matt and thought about my life. At this point I decided, I was not going to get down on myself. In order to beat this thing I had to have a positive attitude. I had to stay positive and strong, not only for me, but for my family and friends as well. See this year, my family has been through a lot. We have had a lot of joy, baby Claire and Kendyl, and a lot of sadness. My Grandpa Jack passed away in March. Now my family was faced with this. I decided that it was going to keep us down. I was going to get through this. I am a great teacher, a great girlfriend, a great daughter, and a great friend. I love my life, I love my job, and I am making it better by getting my Montessori certification. There was NO way this was going to bring me down.
So after all that, my surgery was scheduled for June 23rd, 2010..just two weeks after we found out. They were planning on taking out my thyroid to get rid of the cancer, and to see how far it had spread because they wouldnt know that until they got in there. I had to coordinate things with work (they have been super amazing, and such a great support system through all of this by the way) and figure out the money situation for bills and rent. Everyone was right by my side through everything, and on the morning of surgery when they wheeled me back, mom and I cried. I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. I said do not cry lol because I knew that I would lose it. Of course I did. I gave Matt and kiss and a hug (yes he was teary eyed) and off I went into the operating room. Remember when I said I had really high anxiety in medical situations??? Well, I wouldnt even let them put the anesthia mask on my face, I had to hold it myself. Its a control thing, and yes I like to control some things ;) Before I knew it I was in the recovery room throwing up. I remember the nurse saying it was gross. After that little episode I dont remember much. I remember being upstairs in room, and my cousin and baby Kendyl being there. My mom was there and my dad was there, and of course Matt was there. I was told that there were a lot more people that came in and out the whole day but I was so out of it that I cant remember. I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days!! It was the worst 4 days of my life! I had two panic attacks, two different roomates, both of them over the age of 80, with the first one being crazy!! She sat on her bed and cussed at herself or the nurses all day!!! She was in the hospital because she wanted a Big Mac, and drove into a tree at 10mph and broke her arm. Lets just say the hospital was an experience in itself. The night nurses sucked, but my day nurse who happened to be there 3 days in a row was amazing! When I finally got to go home all I wanted to do was take a bath. I was cleared by my surgeon to do that :) so I got in the big bathtub and soaked for like an hour. Once I was home and recovering I definitely felt better, but I knew I was only halfway done with treating this thing. I still had to meet with an endocrineologist (the guy who will prescribe my medication for the rest of my life) and I had to get Radioablative Iodine Therapy. Its a pill that they give you at the hospital which goes in and kills all those tiny microscopic cells no surgeon can get. I was so done thinking about everything at this point that the only thing on my mind was our annual trip to San Diego. All I wanted was to be on that beach. My surgeon said I should be ok to go by the time the trip was scheduled, and my endocrineologist didnt think I would have the energy. Trust me I didnt let that stop me. I recovered quicker than anyone thought, and I felt (still do) great! I wasnt too tired, and I was so ready to go! My meeting with my surgeon was a week before we left and he cleared me for everything, I could golf, bike ride, go in the ocean, all the fun stuff that comes with San Diego! So off we went and had an amazing trip. The only thing looming in the back of my mind was the radiation I knew I had to schedule. I put that phone call off all week. Finally I called them and they scheduled it for Aug. 2nd, 2010. Today. Yes I am now radioactive. I had to go to John C. Lincoln and get this little white pill (which packs a punch!) and sit around for a few hours. Turns out the nurse who helped me, had the same exact thing ten years ago! She knew exactly what I was going through! The mood swings, the muscle cramps, tiredness, all the fun things that come with not having a thyroid. She even had to go through the radiation, so we talked a lot today and even exchanged phone numbers. She is pretty amazing and I am so thankful she was my nurse.
So now I am in isolation for 5-7 days. I for sure cant be around children or pregnant women for 7 days. but 5 days for everyone else. I am staying at my parents house because I have my own bathroom and room here, so I can stay out ot everyone's way and let this radiation do its thing! KILL IT! KILL IT! :) I am still thinking positive and praying everyday that I will be ok, and that this is the last of it. It has been one heck of a ride this summer, and I know that I am only going to get stronger. All my life I have been told that things happen for a reason. I am meant to be on this Earth. God would not have given me strep throat if He did not want me to find this yet. I had no symptoms of thyroid cancer or anything. Just a lump looming beneath the surface. Its a blessing that I got strep and that they caught things early. I am still scared and stressed about everything because we wont know anything about the cancer and where its at until next Friday. That is when they scheduled the body scan. They are going to check my whole body for any kind of cancer. Please pray that they got it all!!! As for now I am living my life a little bit differently. I dont take small things for granted anymore, I eat healthier, and I view things differently. I also approach my world with a better, positive attitude. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I will be posting more things about my life, my Montessori training, and my Montessori teachings. I love Maria Montessori and what she did for education. Being an educator is tough, but I wouldnt have it any other way. Hopefully, with this blog we can keep in touch with family instead of posting all those really personal things on Facebook. :)